"What A Load Of Bulls***": England Great Geoffrey Boycott Tears Into Ben Stokes, Brendon McCullum

Down 0-2 against Australia in the 5-match series, England have their task cut out in the remaining three matches as they look to make a comeback in the Ashes 2025-26 series. Skipper Ben Stokes and Brendon McCullum have had to face the bulk of the criticism, with the 'Bazball' philosophy being branded as a 'bubble'. Seeing his countrymen produce a woeful show in Down Under, England great Geoffrey Boycott didn't mince his words as he tore into the Stokes-led side, giving almost every single player a dressing down.

After losing the first Test inside two days, the second Test saw England being humbled again by Australia, losing the Gabba encounter by 8 wickets. In his column for The Telegraph, Boycott said that England need a miracle to make a comeback in the Ashes, after the 6 days of cricket in the series saw the tourists have their backs against the wall. "After just six days of Ashes cricket, England need a miracle," he wrote.

"Brisbane was a horror show: irresponsible batting, bowling too short, too wide or too full and catches dropped," he wrote before intensifying his criticism of Stokes' men. "With this sort of batting and bowling, they couldn't win an egg cup, let alone the Ashes urn."

Boycott said that England were preparing a blueprint to beat Australia for four years, yet failed. What baffles the batting great is that neither Stokes, nor his team is willing to listen to outside advice.

"What a load of bulls---. We can't believe anything Ben or his team say. None of them wants to listen to anyone outside of their own camp," wrote Boycott. He paints the Stokes-McCullum regime as a closed bubble that thinks it has reinvented Test cricket. "They are up their own backsides convinced that Test cricket has changed so much that only they know anything about the modern game."

"All we ever hear from the captain is attack, and from the coach, keep the faith," he added.

Be it Harry Brook, Ollie Pope or other batters in the team, Boycott refused to spare anyone.

"So far in tight situations, Harry has let the team down... So far the penny has not dropped, maybe it never will."

"You need to sell your wickets dearly. Too many times, Ollie gives it away.... He never learns, and he never fails to disappoint," Boycott asserted.

Not just batters, even bowlers were branded 'rubbish' by the England cricket icon.

"Why were we not bowling in the corridor of uncertainty... That is our strength, not bombarding the batsmen with short stuff," wrote Boycott. Brydon Carse, he says, "was trying to knock a hole in the middle of the pitch"

Boycott refused to even consider Will Jacks a 'Test match cricketer'.

"If he is a Test match cricketer... no disrespect intended but he is a hit and giggle batsman in T20, and my Mum could play his bowling with my proverbial stick of rhubarb."

Topics mentioned in this article

England Cricket Team Australia Cricket Team Ben Stokes Brendon McCullum Geoffrey Boycott Australia vs England, Ashes 2025-26 Cricket