Melbourne:Australian all-rounder Andrew Symonds has revealed how painful it was for him to see the mauling of his side by India in the Gavaskar-Border trophy while he was sitting out for a 'stupid' mistake.
Symonds, who missed the India tour due to 'gone fishing' episode, said he felt desperate to go into the middle whenever a wicket tumbled during the Australian innings.
"It did hurt, watching the boys go through what they went through in India, and there were a couple of times where I was sitting there and I wanted to be the next in to bat," Symonds said.
"Hopefully, to be back will be a great feeling because it did hurt me deep down inside to be out of it for a while there," he added.
Symonds had preferred fishing over a compulsory team meeting during the home series against Bangladesh and was forced to attend a rehabilitation programme, recommended by Cricket Australia.
"I earned the right to wear my baggy green cap, and I lost that through my own stupidity, so now hopefully I can regain it and wear it with distinction.
"Bear in mind, I wasn't dropped from the side for form but I'll be doing my best to get myself back into batting form. Some of the wickets we've played on have been very difficult," Symonds told AAP news agency.
Symonds returns to the national side for a Twenty20 exhibition match against the Adam Gilchrist-led All Stars and was nervously waiting to play again.
"I don't know what the balance of the team will be, so I suppose closer to the day and maybe even the morning of the game, depending on the weather and what the balance of the team will be. I've got a nervous wait to go yet," he said.